Hey friends—

Before I dive in, I just want to be real with you. This post isn’t light. It’s not polished or pretty. It’s raw, it’s emotional, and it’s a part of me that I’ve kept hidden for far too long.

I’ve struggled with anorexia, bulimia, and body dysmorphic disorder—and even though it’s hard to say out loud, these battles have shaped who I am today and where I’m headed on this journey to a healthier, happier me.

Childhood: A Silent Struggle

I wasn’t always the “chubby” kid. I started out small—just your average little girl—until something happened that changed everything.

In kindergarten, I was molested.

It’s still hard to say. I carried that secret for years, too terrified to tell my mom. I didn’t have the words, and I definitely didn’t have the tools to cope. So I turned to food. It became my comfort, my escape, my way to feel safe.

As the years went on, the weight came on too. I was bullied and felt alone. I didn’t recognize myself—not on the outside, and definitely not on the inside. I was unhealthy, depressed, and completely lost.

Teens: Breaking the Silence

By the time I was 11, I was in therapy for anxiety and depression. Life felt unbearable most days. The bullying didn’t stop, and I had no real friends. Eventually, I told my family about what happened to me as a child. I thought maybe—just maybe—it would bring some relief. But instead, I wasn’t believed.

That pain ran deep.

So I kept eating. I numbed every feeling with food.
In high school, I started researching diets and looking for any way to lose weight. By senior year, I began working out—and the results came fast. Compliments poured in, and for the first time, I felt seen… in a good way.

But it quickly spiraled. The lower the number on the scale, the more “worthy” I felt. I became obsessed. I was restricting calories, working out multiple times a day, and ignoring every red flag. My hair started falling out. I had zero energy. But as long as the number dropped, I didn’t care.

Eventually, anorexia turned into bulimia. Then it became a dangerous cycle of extreme restriction and purging until my body couldn’t take it anymore. I ended up hospitalized.

.

Today: Healing, Not Perfect—but Better

It’s been a long, hard road—and it’s far from over.
But I’m working on me. Every day.

I’m learning how to love myself. I’m choosing to focus on health, not perfection. I’m no longer tied to a diet, but I’ve taken what I’ve learned over the years to fuel my body with intention. I focus on protein, stay mindful of calories, and aim to nourish my body rather than punish it.

I still have hard days. I still hear the old voices. But I’ve come so far—and I’m not turning back.

If you’re reading this and you’re struggling too, please know you’re not alone. Healing isn’t linear, and it doesn’t happen overnight. But it does happen—with patience, support, and a whole lot of self-compassion.

So thank you for being here, for reading my story, and for walking alongside me as I continue this journey toward real wellness and self-love.

Let’s do this together. 💛